We are not powerless

“ Yesterday, several women from London Feminist network spent the day practicing self-defence with four instructors from The London Centre for Personal Safety. We had the invaluable opportunity to take part in their one-day ‘IMPACT” self-defence and it was absolutely awesome. I’m so grateful to the LCPS for allowing us this opportunity.

IMPACT is a unique form of self-defence. Students practice verbal and full-force physical skills in realistic “adrenalised” scenarios, on specially trained male instructors wearing protective suites. Women instructors lead all training, demonstrating and teaching the techniques.

The thing that will always stay with me is watching other women fight with so much strength and determination. I didn’t realise, until yesterday, that I experienced being a woman as always being part of the loosing team. But what I saw and experienced yesterday has left me feeling very differently. It was so inspiring to see women shouting ‘no’ and confidently ordering the men to back off and then delivering disbling blows to eyes, head, stomach and groin; kicking, elbowing and kneeing full force while being cheered on by all the other women in the room.

Men may, on average, be physically stronger than women, but that is not the whole story. We are disempowered by a barrage of propaganda telling us and making us believe we are powerless against men, that we are not worth defending and that fighting back is the wrong choice as it will make men more violent. In one situation where I was attacked by a boyfriend he’d put his hands around my throat and was throttling me. I remember just lying there and doing nothing. Even thought I could not breath and my head felt as I the pressure was going to make it explode I was not going to do anything because I might hurt him. He had the advantage of feeling so strong and powerful that he could do anything. I did not defend myself because I didn’t think I could and because his life felt more important than mine and because I was afraid that he’d get more angry and violent. If that were today, I would strike at his eyes with my fingers as hard as I can, knee him in the head as hard as I can and run out of the flat. I would fight with all my strength and determination; aiming at the most vulnerable place and hitting with the intent of hurting!

To all the women there yesterday: thank you so much! You were awesome!”